First off, guess who made a cameo in a Strala Yoga video? That's right yours truly, I come in around the 2:03 mark:
And another video which I found pretty darn cool:
Okay no I haven't been taking the old "tigerblood", but I am doing pretty darn good on this week challenge. Kinda. First off, how stupid am I to miscalculate the math in this challenge. The reason being I had an idea in my mind on how I was gonna accomplish this and then I changed how I was gonna do this and then I kinda confused myself (don't worry I am a professional). Right now I am at the 51 mark. My way of playing has changed to. I switched it up to playing 6 games at a time and then playing twice a day adding 1 to make it 13 games at a pop. I don't have to work till later on Saturday so I will try to fit in 13 in the morning and then another 13 after work. That is the play anyway, otherwise, Sunday is gonna be a long day.
Anyhow, I am actually doing pretty well. I started with 115 and I am over 130 now considering I am playing $1.20 buy ins. I have found that I play a lot better now. Keep in mind that six games at the same time goes by very fast. I have to make a lot of decisions really quickly and a lot of the times all at the same time. I don't have time to second guess myself so I just pretty much make a decision and do it. I am so much better when I don't over think and to tell you the truth, thats a pattern that runs throughout my life. The results are pretty shocking to me to tell you the truth. I was hoping to at best break even but right now I am having a good run. My poker play has improved and I realized that I can accomplish a lot once I set my course in motion. Anyhow, the week isn't over so I am off to bed...hope all is well with everybody...nite
The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent. ~David Mamet
So here is a late post, I know, I know. I have been trying to fit everything in so I guess as they say, "It is what it is".
Last week was fun. I played a lot of games and it was more fun than I thought it was gonna be. I did get frustrated in the beginning but after a while, I just rolled with it. They do say that playing games do have value so I am gonna try to get in a few hours a week and not necessarily because of the benefits, but more for the unwind.
I played a variety of games. Games on my iPhone and iPad and video games like Black Ops. I guess one of the most interesting things I learned is that it's okay to just have fun and play. I am so driven sometimes that I forget to play. But that is not entirely true but there are times where I could just back it off a notch and just chill. But on the other hand, there are people who take these games way further than I do. There is nothing wrong with that as well, I guess it's more of why you are playing at that particular time.
Week 12:
So I am already into week 12. I was holding off on this challenge due to the effort I knew I would have to expel. I started the challenge on Monday and this will run until Sunday. The challenge is basically to play 100 games of poker in "Seven" days. That's right, "Seven" days. So far I have 25 games in. Keep in mind I do have work and other projects I am working on. I manage it by playing 4 games at the same time.
It's been a while since I've played online and I kind of just jumped in and did it. I also don't want to lose the house on this one so I am playing on FullTilt Poker and I am playing the 1.20 games. I started with 115 dollars and after 25 games I am up to 119. Wow, I know...4 bucks. Tell you the truth I thought I would have been down. There are 75 games to go so, we'll see how it goes.
I always loved poker but never really played the number of games I needed to to get better and to make money. I would play more casually. This in itself wasn't bad but if I am going to push it I should push it. I do believe your typical online pro plays a lot more games than this. Part of it is due to the fact that they are playing more hours of course, but also some are playing 8-12 games at a time. There is one guy who plays 60 games plus at a time. With that number he is aiming to get 700-1000 games in a week. Whew. So in the higher order of things, 100 should be manageable.
Just finishing up last weeks day of thanks (sorry, so much going on).
1-"Battle Los Angeles": I know, how silly. But truthfully I liked this movie a lot. The message it left me with was the quote of Winston Churchhill's "Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm". Great ending to the movie too....Check it out!
2-Finally getting some sleep: Not a lot, but a lot more than I have been getting. I guess the last week was a bit more taxing than normal but the little things again right?
3-I had a customer in today. An older woman, very nice. I have to admit, I thought she was annoying in the beginning but then I got to talking to her more. I sell her a phone and I find out she loves Mickey Mouse and she is kind of scared about changing phones and then I surprise her and go on Google and take a picture of Mickey and Minney Mouse. She smiles one of those surprised heartfelt smiles and her husband did too. It was definitely worth the little extra step with them.
4-My coworkers: I closed tonight as the only salesman. A few people called out. My closing crew surprised me. Some stayed longer and others really came through. Thanks guys.
5-And once again, to my friends. I guess I've used this one a few times but I am very lucky to have some cool friends in my life. I guess it's just noticing how important they are to me.
Thank you,
Week 11:
A Time to Work and a Time to Play:
Tell you the truth, I was struggling to find a challenge for this week. I mean I have a lot of things left to do, but in terms of being able to pull it off with the week I have ahead of me. So I finally settled on Gaming Week.
I wouldn't say I hate games but I am generally not all that into them. I mean there are a few games that I do really love. I also am a competitive person by nature so there is that, but in general I don't play many video games. I know there are benefits to playing games. There is the problem solving and hand eye coordination benefits. It also develops the ol' reflexes. That being said...I bought Black Ops.
I was thinking about getting this game for a while. I honestly don't know if I will be able to finish it because frankly, I suck. I also do know from a friend that it is a quick game. But then again, I am just gonna enjoy the experience. I mean I am always trying to do something or accomplishing something. Why not just enjoy life and have fun. Hmmm, this is going to be an interesting week;)
First off, my heart and prayers go out to victims of the earthquake in Japan and all the subsequent tsunami victims as well. May God keep you safe.
Trying to make sense of it all and I guess it's not up to me to have it all figured out. It's been a weird week. I am questioning a lot of who I am how I relate to the world. Who says I know what's right and if my way of living is the right way. All I can say is I don't know. In some ways I feel that's a good thing. I think I would be more worried if I knew it all. Schrodingers Cat I guess.
Some really amazing photographs by performance artist Li Wei:
It takes impossible ways of seeing the world to do impossible things right?
Anyhow I am majorly sleep deprived and feeling a bit under the weather so forgive me for sounding like I'm rambling.
And now on to what I am thankful for:
1-I finally had time to watch a few videos that I had on my ipad. I had put them on there hoping to find the time to watch them. Being that I was a passengers on a 3 and 1/2 hour car ride I was finally able to watch them. They were talking about the art of magic and made me question my own approach to the craft.
2-I am out of it and under the weather but I am lucky that my friends and family are okay.
3-May sound shallow, but thanks for the update to my iphone and ipad os. It was annoying that my ipad kept rotating without me being able to lock the screen.
4-I am lucky to have been able to just get away and get some much needed perspective on my life.
5-I am actually pretty lucky to have a quiet night in, I really needed it.
Anyhow I am going to pass out. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning. G'Nite.
So here I am trying to sleep in a hotel room in Binghamton. I have to say for the sad occasion it was a really keep day. Yes I had to go to another wake. It was the mother of one of my best friends growing up. I really felt like another child in their family. We got together and listened to music we listened to growing up and playin cards and reminiscing. It was pretty cool. Reminds me of just how fast time flies. I feel like I havent seen these guys in a while and it may be a while before I see them again but for this moment in time, it's like we were back...sad face.
1-The fact that these guys were my friends is the first thing I am grateful for. God please may the best times be ahead and not behind.
2-The fact that there were kids at the wake which reminded me in each passing there is rebirth. What was a sad occasion was made a little more pleasant trying to fit all these spiderman stickers.
3-I am thankful for the free day. Man the way I ate today, I shouldn't have another free day for a few months.
4-My iPad for supplying the tunes from which all the memories came...gotta love Pandora
5-My iPhone for letting me post this at 3:56 in the morning and no laptop, oh and free wi-fi at the Howard Johnson.
The realization of how important my friends and family are to me become more and more evident with each passing day. I guess all we can really do in life is make good memories. G'nite;)
I'm reposting this song cause some funny things happened today. First off, I've been feeling a little under the weather and a bit down from a few sad things that have been happening lately. I think I got bummed today because I got stuck in my head. That happens from time to time. I realize the best thing for me to do is let it run it's course and then I come back to where I need to be, which is right here in the now.
Did my yoga today and picked up a few things in the city which brings me to why I reposted the video. I had the song on my iPhone and I was just listening to some tracks and the song I wrote in a previous challenge came on. Yup, the song is called Thank You. The weird part I was looking at this book at the same time:
It's a book about a man who wrote a Thank You Note for everyday of the year. He thanked everyone from his kids to co workers to the mailman. Really cool book. And I also saw this:
Yup, thank you's all around us. So that would be my first thing I am thankful for today.
2-Awesome Yoga class. I feel so much better when I get to do it. I wish I could do it more often. If Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is my yang, Yoga is my yin.
I started a book a little while ago. I also started another smaller book. I'm gonna upload it as soon as I get through my second draft that way anyone who wants to get it for their kindle can. It probably sucks, oh well. I am mainly doing this to encourage a writer friend of mine that it is possible. It's not the first or last time that I put something out there that is bad so either don't download it or get used to it lol.
4-I am thankful for a new song I am working on. I really like it a lot and unlike my previous challenges I am taking my time on this one (well not too long). I'll hopefully get a rough mix out by next week.
5-I am thankful for channel 711 on my fios box. It's MTV Live and I love watching musicians perform. It kind of lights a fire underneath me and makes me wanna keep going.
Everyone gets in a funk every now and then and I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with it. Staying there is another story. There is so much to be thankful for and hopefully I keep this challenge up after this week is over.
Today was a somewhat busy day. Taught music and ran some errands. It turns out I have to go to another wake this week. Truthfully I've had enough. I guess it is what it is so to speak. RIP Mrs. D.
I am trying to keep things positive and truthfully there is a lot to be grateful for, so lets get to it.
1-Kids...I got to speak to my nephew on the phone. Too cute. I was also getting a massage and I was in one of those chairs where I had my head down in the padding when a little girl (around 2 years old)named Brooklyn, decided to take a peek and say hi. Very cute as well. Kids teach me to be in the moment. That what you are doing in that moment is the most important thing. Thank you for reminding me.
2-Thank you for the inspiration: Got to finally play with my new Headrush Pedal by Akai (thank you tax return). Lot's of fun. I came up with a new track. I laid down most of the track. Wanted to keep playing. I literally could have played all day.
3-Thanks for my new book. It's called Enchantment by Guy Kawasaki. I almost picked up another book called the Thank You Economy. Ironic huh. The only thing that stopped me was my new rule to read one book at a time.
4-I am going to say friends one more time because once again I was surprised to be contacted to day by some friends again and truthfully there are times I feel out of the loop. Somewhat disconnected from the matrix of life. Kind of like I'm the only one out of it. Every now and then you get a call or text that reminds you that you do make a difference. That people do care.
5-My boy N. I jokingly refer to him as The Concierge. He has been through a lot of hardship yet he goes about his day without complaining (even I can't say I do that). He works harder than expected of him all without the loss of enthusiasm. If I could maintain just a fraction of that.
Well surprisingly I am shot (jk). I am going to attempt sleep. Goodnight...or good morning
"Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is the key to unlocking our potential" - Winston Churchill
Not a bad day. It was kind of busy and tiring but a lot of good things happened. Or maybe I'm finally seeing the good that is around. Who knows...
Thank You:
1-First off, I am thankful for my sister giving birth to my new niece and that she is doing well. Wow does time fly, I remember when her first child was born (my nephew Jack). So truly surreal.
Hope she doesn't kill me for posting this.
2-Great conversation at Barnes and Nobles (you know who you are). I have some truly great people as my friend. They remind of who I am and who I can be. I realize that I have a vast number of friends to turn to. They all inspire me in one way or another and show me that alone is an internal state. That the only way I can feel alone and isolated is because I do it to myself and that someone is always a phone call away.
3-Great teachers: Namely through books. Just finished Poke the Box by Seth Godin. This book reminded of the importance of starting. The importance of doing what we have to do. That being said, I got a lot done today.
4-The reminder of the fact that we are not perfect and that is perfect. At times I realize that going after a lot of things makes me driven. I also guess I sometimes am too quick to judge myself and others. Yeah, I am pretty much a jerk. And that translates well to me being a jerk to myself. That makes me try less and hence I don't get the benefit of experience in trying new things. Okay does that even make sense lol. Anyhow, it was a number of different interactions with friends and customers that made me realize that I have lot to learn and that comes from not being perfect. Also there are people who come across as perfect and I found out today that they themselves are human. Yes, this past paragraph was not perfect and thats okay.
5-The Sunglass Hut Lei: Okay very few people will get this and this is partially an inside joke but it was a reminder to me not to take things so seriously (yes I did wear it).
Lei's are usually a wreath of flowers that are given as a display of affection whether it be love or friendship, farewell or appreciation. In many ways putting it on taught me to appreciate the moment. Silly I know, thinking back I should have taken a picture, but then again there may be another opportunity.
So that is my list for today. This weeks challenge is actually more interesting than originally expected. I am beginning to look for things to post later. I am actually appreciating more things throughout the day. And I realize that I have so much to be grateful for.
"It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment" - Naomi Williams
It has definitely been a rougher week than usual. Unfortunately I have to go upstate this weekend for a wake. Went out tonight for a little bit. It was a St. Patrick' Day Parade and even though work seemed to be a bit of an endurance run, I wanted to go out and see some friends I haven't seen in a while. Being that I don't know what this week will bring, I chose a task that I think is necessary for me in this time of my life. Heck, I think it is an important task for everyday of my life. The essence of it is too list on this blog 5 things I am thankful for in my life.
When I first did tasks like this, it would always be the same thing pretty much everyday. My friends, my family, my health. It became pretty much a cut and paste operation. That being said, I felt like I was really missing the point of what being grateful was. To my way of thinking everyday offers things to be grateful for.
Thanks for Today:
1-Customer John and Jane Smith at work: Okay obviously not their real names. After a while of doing sales, I pretty much assume what people are gonna be like in the first 15 seconds. After working with them for a while, I actually built up a pretty good rapport with them. They were a lot cooler than I thought they were gonna be. I kinda opened up and joked with them. They definitely taught me that most things aren't what they always seem. Thanks for coming in today guys.
2-My friends: I know what I said prior to this list. But what I am grateful to them for, and for two specifically, is that I saw a side of them that I had never seen before. And one I knew all my life (well pretty much). I guess because both of these friends are with me in the crazy depressing things happening these past few weeks. I opened up and they opened up and I realized things aren't as bad as I thought. That I am not as alone on this ride as I thought. I was feeling guilty about how bad a friend I am, but they taught me I don't have to be so hard on myself (my favorite hobby).
3-Work being later ( I went in at 1:30): Man I was tired last night. Really, really shot (heck read my blog). I have been opening lately, so for me to come in late was definitely a Godsend. I know it is simple, but I am really grateful for that. Sleep is important right?
4-Being reminded that great change is sometimes precipitated by hardship and pain. From what you say, ironically watching the Green Hornet movie. I started watching it more for getting out of my head, but it turned into me noticing that it was his fathers death that started the domino effect for his change. From party animal with no goal other than to party as hard as he could to his father dying and him finding his purpose. Stupid? Maybe, but noticing in the little things, like an okay movie, means we are more able to see it in everything (I hope).
5-Rain: Okay my car was looking kind of dirty due to me not getting a "car wash" for a week or four. You might think a cop out and yes me kicks got soaked a few times, but my car is clean now.
I could have slept in but noooo... I knew I had to make up for last nights post. Yes, I was pure catatonic state. Like really...
Anyhow, hadn't gone out in like a while, I mean at least a week. Me and my friend got into a discussion of what constitutes going out.... Well actually here are the levels we figured out, with the help of a few random strangers we met throughout the night:
-Going out and having fun: Dressed up come home at 4 in the morning
-Going out: This was the point of contention, to me going out is leaving your house at night, but then came the next two categories, he didn't think so
-Hanging out: What I considered hanging out, he considered part of going out...hmmm or did I think that
-Just chillin: Some could argue this a subset of Hanging out, but I digress
-Just stopping by: Apparently if you stay for less than an hour and don't drink, or if you are already out and about
So what did resolve in this entire discussion....absolutely nothing. I really should catch up on my sleep.
Is it me or has there been a decrease in pinky promises lately? A question I posed on facebook...yes I wanna know. I find pinky promises to be legally binding.
If your ever in a bad mood, apparently this works:
I just made the realization last night that I am so hard on myself due to having everything be perfect. I then realized I am not perfect, and yet I can still go out there and do things. At least that's the excuse of why my hair was a wreck last night.
I also have to decide what my challenge is gonna be this week. I have a lot of options. I find that I get so caught up in my weekly challenge that I don't know what I am going to do in the following week.
Creative Process:
Anyhow, I figure its about time for me to get out of bed and do something productive...Peace
Well yup I am about to pass out on my keyboard. I am so shot. First off, not really sleeping yesterday and getting up early for a store meeting do not make for a very well to do me. Work was fine and then ended up going to a couple of places afterwards. One of my friends had a little outing for his birthday (Happy Birthday Joe). And another friend is moving to Hawaii. So they had a little get together.
Man it's been a while since I've been out. There you go and know it that when I say I don't have much of a social life, everyone calls me to go out.
Had some flashbacks to not so long ago at these places. I will spare you the details. Boy does time fly.
Okay I am really going to pass out and the only reason I am posting this is to finish the project. Sorry, I'll make up for it tomorrow.
Schrodinger's Cat has always interested me. My interest in physics is mostly on the philosophical implications of theoretical physics. It describes a state in which a cat in a box can be both living and dead. For example a radioactive particle is placed in the box. A geiger counter hooked up to release a flask of poison if it detects the radioactive substance. If the box is closed after a while, at least quantumly that cat is both alive and dead, at least until observed.
I believe it was J.J. Abrams of lost fame who said he had a box of magic that he bought in Tannens (the magic shop I frequent). The thing is it is sealed in a box and the contents are unknown. He bought the box years ago but refuses to open it. In opening it, it will cease to be what it could have been.
It was one of those days. I had to wake up early to bring my dad to the hospital to get a Colonoscopy because there was concern for there being something wrong. Thank God, everything is okay. In driving him he tells me for the first time that my uncle has Parkinsons. He goes on to tell me in how bad a shape he is in.
My parents are driving out to see my sister this weekend because she is giving birth to my niece.
One of my best friends that I haven't seen in a while is having his mother come home from the hospital for Hospice. She is basically being sent home to die in comfortable surroundings.
These are just a few of the people who are included in the number of people I know and my friends know that have recently passed. What is going on? All these things going on also makes me reflect on my life and see where I am coming up short. What kind of person I am. What kind of friend I am. What kind of family member I am. I have lived in my bubble of an existence thinking everything revolves around my perspective of the universe. In some ways I feel like I lie to myself and others. I am hiding behind some kind of facade. A lie I tell myself to make everything work. I know I know, I may be a little over dramatic. I guess on one level there is no measure to how much we do and don't do in our relationships and such but I feel that I could give more.
What scares me the most is it is something intangible. There is no way to accurately define what is correct. We will make mistakes somewhere. Is that enough though?
I built up a huge social network. Is that a detached way of saying friends. But in the large number of friends I have, how do I maintain it? Do I make a difference? I guess it's not just me judging by the number of friends people have on facebook. I mean compared to some people I am really lacking. If I passed tomorrow, would anyone care. If someone I love and know passed away would I have said everything I needed to tell them. And if I didn't tell them, would they know? And if they knew, would it make a difference. How many people really make a difference in our lives. Do we have the power to make a difference in other peoples lives as well? Would it matter?
All my failed relationships, romantic or otherwise, have to be definitely a large part on me to blame. Maybe I am going overboard in some situations but on what level do I prevent anything else from affecting me. What if it was my last day on earth? Knowing that would I be able to change even then?
Maybe difficulty is part of the path. Maybe heartache and pain are par for the course. Without going into too much detail of how my sister and her husband came together, their wedding song was:
I guess we are in some kind of Schrodingers Cat limbo. We are on borrowed time not knowing if it is our last day here on earth. If it is the last day of someone we know. If it is our last opportunity to tell someone we love them. We can never really know.
What scares me even more then everything I said above... What rocks me to the core of my being is if the biggest mistake of all...
Is not even trying...
Thank you for all my friends and family in whatever capacity you are in my life...
So first off, another flat...Yes! Another frickin flat. I am told that I am able to claim these flats and rims and tires and such. Heck I would have saved all the receipts. Anyhow, I head to work when I realize that I have the flat. I almost expect them now so I go to my trunk and once again, the tire iron that comes with the car couldn't get the top off of a medicine bottle. So luckily I get to walk home and get a tire iron from my previous car. Lovely...
Work was good, I sold a lot and it made the day go quicker. I also found some hand grips that I had been meaning to get on sale at GNC.
They are super tough. They are like the top of the line grippers. They start at 50lbs up to 300. So I bought the set and my goal is to be able to close the 300lb ones by the end of the year. Right now I could barely squeeze the 150's. I know this sounds stupid, but speaking as a guy, it made my day.
Other then that, my day was relatively uneventful. Thank God it went by quick. Did I mention that already?
So here is my list of challenges to date:
Week 1: Reading Fiction
Week 2: Classic Movie Week
Week 3: Meet my heroes Week
Week 4: Art Week (that reminds me, I have to hit up a museum)
Week 5: Music Week (which I have to post, I know, I know...I have em, I just have to lay them down)
Week 6: Magic Trick Week
Week 7:Yoga Week
Week 8:Write a book week
Week 9: Journal Everyday
Man I am getting exhausted just posting them. Ironically the weekly challenges actually started a lot of side projects that I am working on. Hopefully a few of them pan out. Next week will put me a fifth of the way through them. I have to start planning out the rest of them. I do want to do certain challenges that will take longer, for example, joining the Upright Citizens Brigade Improv class for I believe 4-8 weeks. But I will try to coincide them with something familiar.
I also have a few scary ones for me in the works.
To more inner scary challenges. I feel like I have been doing a lot of stuff that I wanted to do but now I want to mix it up with a few other challenges that just make me uncomfortable in some way. Who knows. I guess the past few weeks have been good but I need them to get a little scary now.
I also realize that I do not read these journal entries before posting. I am thinking I might not make sense in some of them or there may be some grammatical errors in there and I don't correct them because this is supposed to be a journal. That's it.
Something else I plan to do, was something I did as a kid and forgot how to do, well not really but I want to beat my time for it. I wanna say 1 min and 47 seconds. Yup, you know it...speedsolving a cube:
I mean heck, he's six, so I should have a shot right? We'll see...
And then there is...
Yup...speed dating..and
Some of the hip hop flavor. I am enjoying these challenges and tell you the truth, life is amazing. Every ordinary moment in life is really not so ordinary. Okay, there are a few times where things fail and things don't work out, but you kinda forget those things and remember the positive things (hopefully). I have met some really cool people so far and seek to meet more. I have also learned that I am capable of a lot more then I realized.
I also realize that a lot of things are gonna depend on you and you alone sometimes. But then there are times a helping hand comes through unexpectedly. Anyhow it is getting late and I rambled on along enough...unfortunately I got a song stuck in my head and I figure I would pass it on to you...g'nite:
So first off, really moved by these hometown heros. Check em out:
Had the opportunity to wake up late today, but I really didn't. I need better blinds I think. Got to the city pretty early for yoga. Got some shopping in. Surprise surprise, I bought some books. Total of 3 today.
-A graphic novel of The Anthem by Ayn Rand
-Reality Hunger by David Shields
-Ignore Everybody by Hugh Macleod
I also bought some software to solve some of the issues I had been having with my workflow in making music. I would have spent more money if I had gotten to the city earlier (whew, it was a close one).
Yoga actually was pretty good considering my shoulder was a bit messed up. Damn you Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I truthfully had a pretty cerebral day. I was thinking that today was a pretty good day. I had been getting so used to making things happen and keeping at it and all that motivational stuff. But in moving in whatever direction your moving, you occasionally have those days that seem to just work for you. Don't get me wrong, you'll always have to keep at it, but now and then you just run into good fortune. You accomplish without having to try too hard...which is nice.
Is life really about work anyway. I mean, if your doing and being shouldn't the dance of life follow. I guess that would be nice, but sometimes it does feel like that. The song writes itself in 15 minutes. The bus gets there just as you walk up to the bus stop. The parking spot that opens up just as you pull up. Today for me it was the software which I found out about Monday and contemplated yesterday goes on sale for more than half price today. The people and friends that I said I didn't have called me today. And more little and bigger things throughout this day.
Maybe it was the work and preparation that put me there. Maybe it's the universe knowing that I will keep going no matter what that it surrenders occasionally to my will. At other times, it comes as I am about to give up that some event just occurs to keep me on track. I guess there are times in life that you have to make things happen...at other times you let them happen. It's a relinquishing of control and accept life in that moment. As a perfect moment. A surrendering to that moment. Letting it Be.
It also reminds me to be grateful for everything in life. It reminds me that all the struggle is worth it all. As long as love what you do. As long as life excites you. As long as you wake up that day and wonder what thing you will see that day that you've never seen before. Yeah, there are gonna be days that just plain old suck. But after a while you just get used to that being par for the course. As long as what you are working for in the end is worth it. Anyhow, a video I came across. I guess people will take different things from this video. For me, I guess a lot of my life I was expected to be all these things. I never 100% fit. My parents wanted me to be a doctor. In some ways I feel like I disappointed them. I may have disappointed myself. But watching this video made me just realize how we have to be reminded in our being perfect just as we are...anyhow, very nice story:
First off, I am shot. Had a good night at JiuJitsu. I was complimented by some guys there today on my defense. To me, it basically means I have no offense. But at the same time, I make it hard for people to submit me. Does it make you invincible if no one can beat you? Yeah I know I am not beating anyone (well not quite true), but sometimes in life, you need to just learn to survive (kinda depressing but not really, learning to fail means learning to develop a thick skin).
Feeling in one of those kind of moods:
And:
I don't think of it as depressing music but more introspective music. Life lately has been flying by at the speed of light. I have been doing a lot of things but in some ways I haven't been able to fully enjoy everything. Maybe it is a concern of this project but I also realize that it's par for the course. Just a rant...just saying.
Was able to catch up with some friends today, at least a little bit. Taught pretty much most of the day and just trying to catch up on the non existent sleep I had last night. Finished the Hugh McLeod book and looking for my next read. One book at a time is working for me. This time management thing is gonna take some getting used to.
My social life has been somewhat non existent. Maybe it is a winter thing, or maybe it's just a busy thing. Maybe it's just a me thing. Maybe I'm crazy.
Looking forward to yoga tomorrow. My body feels somewhat out of it when I skip too long between sessions. Watched some Tim Ferriss on youtube today. It was interesting for the most part. What struck me was a part where he talked about doing "too much". He was referring to a sprinting coach and how he taught his team. He said that only 10% of the sprinters would have to be told to do more. The other 90% had to be told to do less. Sometimes in life you accomplish more by actually doing less. Let life happen right. I'm not saying that the lazy bum down the street has it right necessarily, but there is a lot to be said about knowing when to "make things happen" and when "to let things happen."
Or maybe just an insomniac. It was a crazy day at work. There were crazy druggies running around in the mall. I don't know if there is something in the air but there were quite a few people in the mall who were acting in quite erratic ways. People were threatened, fights barely avoided and just general getting thrown out. Oh well.
I started the day teaching some piano, grabbing some Panera and then off to work. I've been a bit off since not getting my workout on. My shoulder is still not one hundred percent but oh well.
Found a new inspiration while I was supposedly working:
After work was off to Barnes and Nobles and ran into a few people I haven't seen in a while. Then off to home and try to solve a couple of more computer issues that I needed to work on.
Theme for today was simplicity. I was looking at a few watched with my manager, I found a Movado I am considering. I am not a big Movado fan but I saw something in its simple tackiness lol.
Considering it cause I can get a really good price. It's always good to have connections. That being said, I am really liking the concept of simplicity. As Einstein would say, "to make it as simple as possible and not any simpler". I guess that goes with my general them lately of limiting myself. In a lot of ways we have too many options available today. I've been doing a lot of music lately and in that I have been playing with a bunch of different programs and really I should just pick one and try to milk the most from it. It seems in some ways that what I am trying to make easier is actually just complicating it anymore. Watching David Haynes play drums makes me really wanna get Superior Drummer 2.0 but I really don't want to spend the money right considering I have a few great programs already. Anyhow, I decided to just limit myself to Logic. Simplicity doesn't mean easy. Off to learn something new.
It's gonna be somewhat of a busy week, but then again, when is it not. I really should make it one of my weeks to go to bed early. Yeah, I know, not gonna happen. I think that time management is not in my vocabulary. They say that 80% of your profits come from 20% of your efforts. Somehow I think that the answer to my life is contained in that sentence. If I can figure out what that 20% is and eliminate the unnecessary 80% I should be okay.
I can't say that I have a grasp on what life is for me and what I want for it. I do realize though that in giving up in trying to grasp it and just living it I realize I am not so stressed out and a lot happier.
I need an assistant.
I need a makeover.
I need sleep...I guess that's what I am gonna do now....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
